Friday, July 29, 2005

forget the lies, and numb the pain. if this don't stop i'll go insane.

somebody! push me. i need a push. i need a kick. i need a slap. i just need some motion to make me MOVE! everything i do seem to be a complete waste of time. the words that come babbling out of my mouth are nothing but hogwash. the actions i do make me a buffoon. i have no idea what i`m doing all this time. walking in circles! its time i get down to real business. i hope i`m going to do what i`ve said. i`m my boss. i`m back in control

Did you think that I would look the other way? Yeah you had it all figured out.

i was looking at the olvl schedule just now lah. crap! it was then that i was realised after prelims we will have 2 months left. HALLELUJAH! what we should do now is really start digging into books. books and more books! and most importanly, drink loads of water. this is quite out of point but please do so! don`t fall sick! and if you drink a lot of plain water, you actually sweat them out! and i mean you sweat without stinking. *nods* so you won`t stink. so it actually acts as a deodorant! the kind with no smell of course. ((: xiaojie`s theory!

this week. let me recall what happened. ohnoo. i have no impression at all. balled today. for all i know. i haven`t sweat so much since who-knows-when. and finally i think i don`t stink anymore because i drank gallons of water. tskkk. what goes in must come out! =x i hope i can go swimmin tomorrow. and then, the sun will be MINE. =DD

this week. seemingly increasing number of cameramen in class. i think funnyLEE was funny lah. 4 cameras 'kitkating' in front of her. pandian posed the fleming hand rule thing. holy, hilarious it was. LOL. okayyye since i`m here (rarely ?) i might as well say hello to everyone! so erh.. HELLO PEOPLE! ((: mug hard. start mugging. yes take out your books. bury yourself in them. read everysingleword! exercise more. get vitamin D from the sun. use your left hand to brush teeth. did i just sidetracked? whatever lah but `s true. use more of ur left hand so you won`t get what is known as 'lao ren chi dai zhen' LOL. omg U SEE THIS? this is rubbish again. no i mean it`s a fact. really. use ur left hand more.

this week. no last week, it was the campfire. i know this is abit too late to mention. it was greaat lah. guides did a greaat job ((: LOL. yay. we da rule!

this week. today. chem prac. OH HELP ME! LOL my practical. i understand 0%. no lah not that cham. but almost couldn`t undst at all. help help help. im walking to my grave.

yay i like this! it`s getting lengthy.

my sis is returning tomorrow from israel. my dad flew off to china? not very sure where =x wretched. so little people at home. almost like home alone.

OKAY LIKE I `VE SAID. I NEED SOMEONE TO PUSH ME. if not i`ll just get my butt stuck to wherever i am. this is so bad. IM KICKIN MYSELF OUT! BYEBYE.



selfish and dumb, stupid and young. yeh, that's me. But from all of the wrongs, you make it right And forgive me

ANYBODY?

; TEN FEET UNDER

YELLOW YELLOW YESLOW I MADE MY BLOG YELLOW. ((:

tskk. reformatted part of the comp. i took about one hr to blog yesterday cos of the virus. whatever it was, it`s exterminated for good. i hope =x

so it rained. plan A failed. so i studied! WOAH. yes, but just a little. i still am empty. u drop a pin, you`ll hear it after a long while. that`s how empty i feel. and the sound goes "dong" instead of "ding" oh crap.

i hope it won`t rain tomorrow ((:

O YES.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ADDIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !

ZHU NI SHENG RI KUAI LE
ZHU NI SHENG RI KUAI LE
ZHU ADDIE SHENG RI KUAI LE
ZHU NI SHENG RI KUAI LE! ((:

But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It's getting hard to breathe
I might need you to say it's alright

; TEN FEET UNDER

i`ve decided to come and blog since i can`t sign into msn. sad shite. virus-ed. typing this entry is alr quite a problem. every few seconds "is this ur picture" will be autotyped lah and i`ll have to keep deleting. GRAHHH. yes i`m roaring COS THIS IS hellofa IRRITANCE!

so i`ll be talkin to myself here. so here goes. hi xiaojie...

holyshite i just sorta replied the virus =x how dumb can this get. anyway, i was thinking my life is just of emptiness. and i just suddenly thought about something shirong said like 2 or 3 years ago. "maybe u`re missing something in your life" and maybe i know what is it. just didn`t say it. i don`t know how. it`s just the same ol` problem of mine. it`s been so long.

immuned to emotions. i told myself i need a good cry. and i had constipation in the eyes LOL. nothing came out. and yes i seriously think maybe my eyes have a major problem. its been itching since don`t know when lah. life is just getting so frustrating. i have no goals at all. okay yes i have, but it`s placed so far away. i don`t even know how to get there.

The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on
It seems so surreal, now I sing it.
Somehow I knew that I would be this way
Somehow I knew that I would slowly fade
Now i'm gone, just try and stop me now.

this describes everything just so perfectly.

my laughter is authentic. please don`t ever doubt them. i`m just feeling empty, because there`s a hole somewhere in my life. and to mend it is as hard as fixing the big hole in the atmosphere.

I NEED A GOOD SWIM WITH MYSELF. i love water. i just get attracted to it, even at the sound of the slightest drop of it.

laladui. havent balled for so long. i think i`m starting to like softball, but not when it hits hard on you. i think rugby is quite dumb =x volleyball looks quite fun. especially the spiking part. i stilll love swimming :)) no sweat! and u get all the sun you want. running is good too. canoeing! waterpolo! WAHAHA! the sports craze. i like it when it just happens (:

nobody ever understands my theories do they? i still think they make perfect cow sense. it`s like a circle but always never complete.

i`ve got new distractions! i like the feeling, but not really when i think of it and time passes w/o knowing. ARGHHS. some things are hard to explain. esp things related to feelings.

the above are just some random thoughts. that`s why you see no link b/w paragraphs. why am i talkin to myself.

As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye

in love with the letter K. and Z.

lost my mood to study. the more i`m moodless, the more i`ll get stressed out because i`m wasting time!

it`s long. i`m out. so long.

This may be the last thing that i write for long
Can you hear me smiling when i sing this song, for you and only you

; TEN FEET UNDER

You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again

; TEN FEET UNDER